One & Only

You're the one I want, you are sensitive, loving, caring, honest, virtuous, and funny. You smile when I'm frowning just so you can see me smile, you comfort me while tears roll down my face. You cook while I'm sick, you bring me flowers just to let me know that you love me. Your hugs could warm the room, but your kisses could light up world. You hold me in your arms tightly not wanting to let me go. You chase me around the bedroom just so you can kiss me on the neck cause you know it tickles me. You grab my waist when I'm being stubborn, you laugh at my stupid jokes doesn't matter what mood you are in. You love the dimple that's in my cheek, you call it " your kissing mark". Your fingertips trace my body as you whisper in my ear I love you. The way you hold my hand gives me the chills. As I look in the mirror, you come behind me and tell me I look beautiful "ALWAYS". You touch me with your words where your hands couldn't. I love you...

But I'm still looking for you. 

Dear mystery person

I realize I'm actually sad, but not wanting anyone to know that I am. I even hide it from myself, I don't like admitting it.. People think I am always happy... but "I'm Fine" hides so many lies, And I'm tired of lying.  Today I figured out that I need someone, someone to exchange secrets with, someone to eat ice cream with, someone to jam out to our favorite songs with, someone to hike to the top of the mountain to watch the sun rise, someone to drive with till the gas says empty, I need someone... I need that feeling of being happy again. I need to forget about what has happened, and move on. Though my feet may be in concrete I still have hope for getting out. I don't want to be someone who is alone, and sad all the time, I want to be outgoing, and dance in the shadow of the moon, I need someone, I need someone to laugh with, to create jokes with, to sit around and just talk with. You know that kind of person? The one you want to just be with everyday? Yea I want that. So could you please reach out for me? I'm not sure who you are... But I hope that you will grab my hand and let me know that being sad is not the answer, and maybe you can be this person? PLEASE BE MY FRIEND.  

Heart Pounding

My gut is aching, wrenching, knotting, and dying. I'm running away from the monsters, those monsters are us. Their long fingers reaching in my retinas, blinding me... I can't see, but all I know is that I'm running. The sun eating away at my back. My ears yearning to hear your voice, but the monsters are the only ones I can hear. As I peal my lips one layer at a time, memories seem to disappear. I seem to run to fast my mind gets behind, all I want is to stop running! But I'm surrounded by monsters, my head is exploding, my mind is over loaded. I seem to over think everything, that's because I'm a monster too. Save me from myself.. 

Little soul

I saw him, I see it in his eyes,  he's lost, sad, lonely. He sits there.... I walk by him everyday, I judge him. Today, I saw him in that spot, you know the spot where the concrete is cold, where people walk by and see nothing. He wears glasses, he hides. I see the way he ignores others because he's ignored by them. Today I saw his little soul, it was crying to me, grabbing at my skin and bones, reaching down my throat for attention. Though he showed none of that. I look up... I smiled, and he smiled back. I felt like I saved him from harming himself. That little soul needed attention, a simple smile calmed his hungry soul. instead of bleeding at his wrists he bled through his soul which reached out to me. Thank you lord for helping me sooth a little soul, that made a big difference.

Time

Days pass by slow, more and more I seem to get over the things I lost. But I can't stand the thought of me losing you. We fought, argued, smiled, cried, and laughed together. Those memories will be engraved in my head. As the words " I Love you" stain my teeth, because there wasn't a moment where "I love you" didn't  come out of my mouth. Time seemed to be the last of my worries, but now I can hear the second hand. I sit alone thinking... (maybe to much?)  wanting that rain to go back in the clouds, wanting my tears to go back into my body, wanting a rewind button. But time is my enemy, and it only seems to be getting worse. 

broken fingertips

There's empty spaces on my wall. I took those pictures down. I now know I mean nothing. That magnet that held it up is now weak. The eyes that saw them are now drowning. The hands that touched are now broken. The lungs that breathe, cannot breathe, because the water is filling up. My feet cannot reach the bottom, my hands can't reach the surface. I'm only dying. But you don't care... but I shouldn't be surprised. I don't exist to you anymore. Your promises mean nothing to me, it's all lies darling. Found that out the hard way.

my mind..

One day to be confused, one day to be unsure. We made promises. Our hands never touched again. Will I ever be good enough? We were in love. Now we walk by like nothing happened. My shoulder scraping against yours. But you feeling nothing. My trembling hands reaching for your love. But only finding darkness. Darkness.... Darkness.... I'm trying to get out of that. But I keep reaching... hoping I will find something precious. But I can't keep you from leaving. I remember I could see love in your eyes. Your love engraved in my wrists and my neck. I had a heart then.... Now I'm different..
 I find peace in my imagination. Space is to quite, and you want it to be like that. I looked for you. And only seemed to find the traces of your finger tips on someone else. Now my feet feel heavy, I drag them... I'm carrying sadness, and  no one knows whats going on in my messed up mind of mine.